Perhaps my limited experience as a global traveller has influenced the way I think about certain things I've noticed since I became interested in the notion of one day living away from Australia for a while. Though I've settled down somewhat, for a while there I was reading a lot of books, websites, and blogs written by people who've decided for one reason or another to relocate to another part of the globe.
Now, from what I can ascertain, these people were not forced at gunpoint to pack up and move to a country where things are sometimes done a little differently. It appears that people set forth willingly on the adventures that would widen their horizons and give them a taste of another way of life. So why is it then, that so many people seem to want to recreate in France, the lifestyle they've left behind?
I've seen blogs where people list where to get, say American or British grocery items, toiletries, and even clothing labels. As I understand it, there are shops and restaurants that are opened up by expats of one country or another aimed specifically at providing products and services for other expats who can't live without a particular brand of toothpaste or toilet paper or whatever. And I've seen too, all manner of associations for expats so they can, so it seems, mix with their own kind, and so not be bothered by those pesky French people, with all their strange ways and words.
Maybe I am missing something, but isn't the point of moving to a new country to live and do, 'As they do?'
Then again, maybe I am just jealous that I am not yet trying out a new lifestyle for size.
***
The other thing that baffles me, while I am at it, is this whole notion of trying to find ANOTHER country inside the one you inhabit. Now, I went to France and came home and began to learn the French language. I now go to lots of French movies, and sometimes find myself reaching for a French made product from the shelf at the shops too. But, I do not want to find France in Australia. If I found France here, well, there'd be no bloody point being obsessed with the idea of going to France to experience something other, would there? It would be cheaper to buy the guidebook that helps me find France in Australia, and pretend, rather than spend all that money and add to the carbon emissions problem by sitting in a plane for 23-25 hours. But the fact is, no matter how much I buy, no matter how well I learn to speak the language, I am not going to find France in Australia, and nor do I wish to.
To drag this post out just a little longer, while procrastinating instead of working to a looming deadline I just revisited my flickr account and came across this photo. Now, if I didn't know any better, I might think the owner of this house is living in rural Australia. But they're not. I know that as it's our house in the 'burbs. It's different to the other brick and tile and manicured lawns around us, and we do strange things that don't blend in to the surroundings in which we've chosen to inhabit---like grow vegetables in the front garden, and have a gravel driveway. Maybe then, we're doing the same thing, trying to recover something we've left behind? In our cases, rather than something tangible like a homeland, it's more a feeling, a desire for times that exist only in our heads that we are trying to bring to the suburbs-the olden days, back when life was simpler, and the suburbs didn't suffocate people (okay, to be fair, I should not say we when referring to suburbs and suffocation, it is only I who actually feels this way. I am such a drama queen).
*The book by the way, is an excellent reference book for those seeking to find French stuff and services in Australia. But France itself? Well, it ain't here babe. Never was, and never will be. You've got to travel to find that.
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18 comments:
I totally agree with you about the expats trying very hard to "recreate" the country they've left behind, whereas they are in France.
I have to say that it really gets on my nerves when I read these people complain about such and such thing "so (badly) typically French"... Why did they choose to come to France then, if it's so hard to adapt?
I'm not trying to recreate my home country. Honest Miss!
In theory ex-pats should be able to answer your questions about required paperwork, who you must register with etc. In practice, everyone has done it differently to me and so far, no advice received has been applicable to me when I have turned up to face officialdom.
I am sure that after some time you do start to miss things from home. But, I assure you that should I ever be so lucky to live in Paris I would never complain about missing American cheese. I do imagine that there is much fantasy about what it is like to live in a new country and then when you get there there is some adjusting to the reality that has to be done. Don't you think?
speaking as an expat european in the USA, i don't think i'm at all trying to recreate my home country here. i've even found things my new homeland does better than my old one, in my opinion.
it's just that one gets homesick, usually for some one thing or kind of things, and it can be just about anything --- for me, it's certain candies i couldn't get anywhere but where i grew up.
add up a bunch of expats all pining for their own particular thing, and i suppose it could be easy to get the impression of folks trying to recreate their home when abroad. perhaps some actually do, at that, but they're definitely missing the point.
Michelle, I am with you 100%!!! When I decided to become a nomad, a globetrotter, a wold traveler....my ambition was to meet new people, learn about different cultures, experience new things and that's exactly what I did! When I lived in Madrid my friends were all Spanish, in Amsterdam they were all Dutch, in Paris, all French, etc., otherwise as you said, why go to a country if all you want to do is meet other people from the country you left behind! I never could understand that mentality!
Doing it my way not only gave me a better perspective of another country; I now have wonderful friends from all over the world. The hunger that you feel in wanting to leave your country will not be satiated until you finally do, but along with that comes a point of no return. Living outside of your country of birth for a good part of your life (as in my case) makes you a foreigner in your own land as well, but the rewards far outweigh the inconveniences!
Or you can get lucky.... I lived over 25 years in Paris and a few years ago met a Frenchman who spent over 25 years in the States, so now we go back and forth every year spending time in both countries. It's given me a new appreciation for a country I no longer called home.
Isabelle,
Thanks for commenting on this. It is good to get the views of a French person and see one at least, agrees. I felt a bit wary posting it, as I haven’t had the experience of being an expat so have only my observations to base it on.
I look forward to being able to compare notes on this in person one day. Maybe even in very faltering (on my part), French.
Rigsby
I wasn’t singling you out! I had forgotten until you responded that you wrote about an English shop recently.
The way you write about your adventures amuses me, though I must confess I sometimes take the side of the French locals over the bumbling Englishman, but that’s the Aussie in me. We have a reputation to uphold for being less than gentle with the English at times (though most of us non-Indigenous Australians have English blood somewhere in the mix).
I hope you’ll forgive me saying this, but I have this mental image of you bumbling a little like Mr Bean through French bureaucracy, trying to do the right things in order to become French, but getting hopelessly confused along the way.
And I love the cast of characters in the village who make life that little more, shall we say ‘challenging’ as you try to become a French person.
LBR,
I very much agree that you would miss things, and I have no problem with that. It’s the more ‘extreme’ attitudes that bug me. I agree that there is much fantasy about what it would be like, and I suspect maybe more than anywhere else in Paris. I have an inkling that some people think they’re going to turn up in 1920’s or maybe 1950’s Paris, and step into life that is just like the movies.
I’ve had writer friends try it, and they’ve said it was the hardest thing they ever did, and often the most unproductive of their writing careers. But, I still want to give it a go for a while so I can tell my own story of writing or not-writing ;-)
I’ve found keeping this blog, and reading others has actually helped me evaluate my own notions of why it seemed so important to ‘live in Paris.’ The reality is, I know now, that I won’t *find* what I feel is missing in my life in Paris. I need to find it in myself before making any big decisions. Lol- maybe I need an Igor for that.
Nomen,
thank you for sharing this with me. It is helpful to see various views. I wasn’t, for the record, meaning to imply that all expats were missing the point, it was that vocal minority I guess, that have me baffled. That's where the internet can be useful in helping us share views.
I imagine that no matter how happy someone may be about relocating there will always be things that are missed. It is interesting as you say, the types of things you find yourself missing. I relate to this even moving within Australia. For a long time I missed this funny little icecream shop I never even visited! It was just that it was there, it was familiarity I guess, driving that.
Lynn! Wow, I just read your bio and a few posts, and I am thrilled to see someone who has lived such a life understands and agrees with my views. To say I am envious of your life implies I regret my life thus far, and I don’t. Perhaps to say I am inspired, is a better word choice.
It is interesting what you say about feeling like a foreigner after living away a long time. I have always had a certain unsettledness about Australia. I never actually dreamed of escaping, instead, I made Australian babies, and later rather oddly perhaps, immersed myself in academia and creative work looking at identity to try and somehow create a stronger sense of my own place as an Australian.
It was only stepping off a plane onto French soil that I had an ‘aha’ moment about where that was all possibly leading. A moment I might add, that continues to baffle my family, though they are supportive.
I sometimes wonder (but not wish I had) how I'd have lived my life if I'd been brave enough to take a trip on my own at eighteen instead of forty something. But then I guess, I wouldn't be me, would I?
I will be adding my blog to my reading list if that’s okay by you (well of course it is, it’s in the public domain---but you know, courtesy and all that).
I think many of us who end up spending a good part of our lives in France (but were born elsewhere) had that "aha" moment you speak of. The funny thing for me is, Paris was never a dream of mine and I didn't even care if I went to France when I first arrived in Europe, but it was love at first sight when I first saw Paris and the rest is history!
Traveling when your young has its advantages (you're just too oblivious to what the world is really like) so you're not hindered by doubt or fear, rather than by bravery! (Innocense is bliss, so they say, and it's true!) Still, forty is a great age for taking steps to a new life, with an awareness of who you are and perhaps a greater appreciation in making it happen!
Glad to have found your blog....I'll be rooting you on!
Lynn, I started to reply here, but then got distracted by clicking on your linked post, so have (well, sort of), replied there instead.
Michelle, I have one rule about moving between countries and that is I enjoy all that the country has to offer - what belongs there stays there. In other words when I am in France everything I eat, drink and whatever is French and when I am home in Australia I celebrate what our wonderful country has to offer. I love change and doing this makes each place special. I could not agree more with your thoughts, xv.
Ah Vicki, I thought you would do it that way. You approach the transitions (from what I have observed/read) with such a great attitude.
I was talking about you last night at dinner. Planting the seed, so to speak, in the ear of the man who doesn't know yet, that he is going to fall in love with France.
Lovely.. I found so many people like me.. who want to go to.. and live in France, Paris... :)
I'm sure some day you will.... some day, I shall too..
Hi Phoenix,
perhaps we will bump into one another there.
firstly, can I tell you again that I adore your garden?
okay. that said, I've nattered on about isolationists in France. Being an integrationist, it bugs me.
However, that doesn't mean wants to toss aside everything ever associated with their former life.
Par example, j'adore la cuisine Mexicaine.
This is a very California-style trait. Because I am in France doesn't mean I never want to eat such again. Or that I want to eat food masquerading as my favorite. So I do search for authentic products and ingredients.
This doesn't mean I bitch about the fact they are hard to find.
On the topic of expat forums, etc. I am on my way to becoming a member of my village community. It is not always easy. Sometimes, meeting others who have tackled a challenge before me provides insight that is useful. So that may be one reason for encountering other expats and comparing notes. Not to the exclusion of all other associations however.
This is a very interesting topic with many facets. I've encountered bloggers who have married French citizens and lived here a while and still bitch and groan and generally seem to detest all things French. this is where I agree with Isabelle.
Why the hell are you here then?
NJNRR, I am glad you responded to this. I was thinking of you and your experience while I mulled over this. LOL- not in the negative sense, but rather, as an example of how I imagine I would want to do the transition when the time came (i.e with humour, guts, and determination)
I'm not opposed to the idea (and remember, I have zero experience at relocating internationally, so might turn into a blubbering whiner myself), of forums to offer emotional support, friendship, and/or help with practical issues. it's the 'extremists' I guess you'd call them, that really annoy me, those such as Isabelle and yourself already referred to.
Oh, and thank you re, the garden. It does give me great pleasure, Though I have been so busy lately and neglected it so photographs are taken only from certain angles.
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